So this will be month 8 of TTC after coming off the pill (I was on contraception for nearly 10 years).

I track my ovulation with OPK’s. I put my legs up in the air. I try not to think to hard about it. I take prenatals. But nothing has happened yet!!

I need advise! I’ll start at the beginning. When I was around the ages of 8-15 I suffered from eating disorders - anorexia and bulimia. I don’t think I ever started my periods properly. And when I did get one it was SO painful I would pass out, puke, have time off school just because of the cramps. So a-mist my eating difficulties and puberty hormones my doctor put me on the pill to ease my period pains - I’ve been on contraception ever since. Just before my doctor made the decision to put me on birth control he told me that if I don’t start to gain weight or eat properly I may never have “proper, real” periods and therefore not be able to conceive in the future. At that time I didn’t give a s**t, I just wanted everyone to leave me alone!

Fast forward 10 years, I’m engaged, live with my fiancé and TTC. And those words just won’t stop spinning around in my head. This voice in my head keeps telling me “*haha* you ruined your chances of having a family when you were younger and didn’t care about yourself *haha*”.

How long do it leave it before I go to the doctors?! My periods seem to be regular now, I track them using this app... but still no BFP!

What if I did ruin my chances?! What if my body isn’t capable?! How do I live with that?! Tears are streaming down my face as Im writing this thinking about the “what if’s???” I try my best not to think about it and remain positive but it’s bloody hard work!!

I wind myself up thinking about how some woman forget to take their pill for ONE DAY and still wind up pregnant!

To top it off we are the last couple on our friendship group to have babies. My friends have come off the pill and fallen pregnant within a month! And it’s so hard to keep a smile on my face knowing we’ve been trying for SO much longer 😭😭

Has any body gone through something similar?! Any words of wisdom for me?! Any moral support and advise would be much appreciate it!

Oh an to top it off I suffer from Crohn’s disease, anxiety and depression! So much going on 😭

Peace and love ♥️♥️

Crohn's disease group ❤️😘