I’m really sad about this unexpected but expected news I’ll explain.

Found out I was pregnant when I had to rush to the hospital for intense nerve pain and tachycardia, and shock. My heart had gotten up to 178 sitting still and I knew something was wrong. Went in found out I was pregnant and sent home. I was extremely worried though bcz I was experiencing this on and off for the next 2 weeks and due to us finding out in the emergency room no one would see me for obgyn/ ob until I got my record released. The hospitals are awful about that btw. Anyway I got really frantic cz I knew was something off and I just kept getting the run around.

finally got to see someone had my first ultrasound at 8 weeks and ofc there were abnormalities.

Granted by this time I was having severe neuropathy like symptoms. Loss of strength in my arms legs extremities. Pins and needles shooting pain in my legs toes and fingers and stomach that kept me up all night. Extreme morning sickness convulsive painful vomiting full of bile, I couldn’t even hold water down and the exhaustion was 10 x what I experienced with my first baby.

The dr said nothing really about my symptoms it’s normal ya know, but she showed me that there was gray “matter” around the amnion that she had never seen on an ultrasound before and referred me to a high specialist. Something in my gut for awhile had told me twins, the severity of my vomiting and idk god. I just had a gut feeling I kept telling people they see one healthy baby but I’m not going to be surprised if they find two on the next ultrasound.

I had my appointment today with the high risk specialist. The nurse was brash and inpatient awful really sheesh don’t get me started. But I asked “there’s only one baby right” and she stopped in her tracks shocked and looked taken aback at me asking that. She asked me why I asked and I just told her I wanted to make sure.

After an hour of sitting in that cold dark room with my pants pulled down past my ass the doctor finally came in and confirmed I had a vanishing twin. He was also awful btw I really don’t understand why more and more apathetic individuals think they have a place in our health care system. But my mouth fell and I gasped and turned my bf and said “I told you I knew it”. The dr wouldn’t or couldn’t show us evidence on the ultrasound or explain what the “matter” was found previously. In fact he questioned why I was even there. lol. The doctor asked if we had history of twins in the family which neither of us did and proceeded to interrogate me on why I would think I was having twins.

God, you mother fucker that’s why. I just felt it in my soul. Call it female intuition something people don’t really appreciate or understand anymore. a

Anyway it broke my heart I feel the loss. My boyfriend didn’t show it in the room but he balled in the car and we are both extremely saddened by this experience.

I really apologize for my mistypes and errors I just had to get this out. I didn’t really expect to have confirmation of what I felt was twins. I thought maybe it was wishful thinking since there wasn’t a twin shown at the first ultrasound. Figured it had to be something else. I hope the moms who are going through anything similar have good news and lots of support and caring doctors around them. ❤️

Vanishing Twin