Surprise baby and everyone I feel is going to be so mad! Actually I know...

Just got a new job im SO excited for hoping they will be understanding because I hope to stay here for years and I'm just nervous because I don't qualify for fmla. Its the best financial move for my family.

And then my family- I have 3 kiddos; 14, 12 and 3....my 3 year old will be 4 when baby is here and ultimately I always said I want one more sibling for him a little closer in age....not as close as I hoped for but life happened and so I wasn't trying. Back after 3yo was born I graduated with my masters and about 6 months after my 14 yo was hospitalized for mental health and ultimately thru the years she is now considered disabled due to her mental health...our family life changed. Fast forward to now my 12 yr old was dx with type 1 diabetes the beginning of this month....just a lot going on. I know my kids will be ok 👌 but everyone's judgment is heavily weighing me down.

So my parents im actually pretty close to, they are a huge support to my kids but I had my first two at 16 and 19...definitely not in their plans understandably but they helped me a ton but I definitely felt bad with the situation, with my 3yo I was financially doing well finishing my masters degree and working full-time and I hid that pregnancy until 24 weeks because I knew they would react to it as a negative......everything was going good then. My partner was supportive and great to.

Today my partner doesn't know because he relapsed and I haven't had the chance to talk to him although I've tried every day...and months ago my 12yo asked my parents what the saddest moment of her life and she told him that me having kids was...I'm still in shock she said that because I majorly pulled my life together for my kids and my life is my kids. And then sitting down with my mom casually months ago she makes the comment to my partner and I something about another situation better not happen and I don't need more kids then everyone else in the world...which 4 would definitely be my stop number, I think I told her then I might want 1 more to be somewhat close to 3yo age.

Anyways im so alone in this and just want friendly advice, I'm sad that every pregnancy I've had I've always had to feel this way...they may not have always been planned but literally my entire life is centered perfectly around my kids thats really all i want, just wish my family saw it like that 😔

Mommy to be 4th time around