Hi everyone ❤️ my name is Kayla and I just joined this group so I wanted to introduce myself. I am married to a wonderful man and we have 2 living children with one angel in heaven.

I remember this time last year I was about to experience my first miscarriage. The heartbreak and pain I experienced was an unknown feeling and it was absolutely crushing. I prayed and prayed and prayed so hard for our rainbow baby and we fell pregnant the cycle following my miscarriage.

My baby girl, Ada. ✨

I had a beautiful pregnancy with her. No complications on my end and we were soo excited, thankful and just extremely blessed. God was listening.

But He had other plans for her. At my 20 week ultrasound, Ada was diagnosed with a unique and rare congenital heart defect (HLHS). When she was born, her condition was so rare and not like the other cases that surgery would not have fixed her heart. She passed away 9 days later on October 3, 2020. The pain I felt with my miscarriage was nothing like this. We were (& still are) so broken and lost. A piece of my soul is gone and I am so lost without her. My heart is completely shattered. I miss her terribly it’s painful. She is on my mind and in my heart and I know she is with us but I need her in my arms. 🥺💔

My husband and I have decided to start trying again. I’m not sure if it’s part of our grieving process or trying to find a piece of Ada to bring back to us. I just don’t know how I can move on without my baby. I wanted to join this group for support and advice since I feel like everyone I have in my life can’t relate (I know it’s not their fault, it’s just how it is due to the circumstances) I feel like no one is listening when I do try and or just simply does not know what to say.

I’m sorry this is long and thank you if you have read to the end. ❤️

My period is due in about a week and I’m feeling like this is not our month. I felt the urge to take a test and it was a bfn which I knew it would be. I don’t know why I did that it put me in a bad mood. 😔

TTC After Infant Loss