Coming from someone who had a partner during my pregnancy with my daughter, I would have to say it’s not all unicorns and rainbows. My ex was very verbally and mentally abusive, would just prefer to smoke weed with his friends, be out all night, etc. I would rather be alone and raising my child or children, than be with somebody who makes me feel bad about myself, doesn’t support, or help me in the ways I needed. I had gotten postpartum depression after having my daughter, having an unsupportive partner didn’t help me. Also, did not help my mental situation. I had left her dad finally when she was about six months, and I didn’t reconcile with him until she was about a year old, I realized that he didn’t change and was never going to and it only lasted for about 2 to 3 months.

I feel like you can never truly be happy with somebody else until you love yourself, and I know everyone says that. But it’s the honest to God truth. Once I started my healing journey, I just focused on my daughter, and doing the things I needed to be done in order for her and I to be set up for success. When she was about 2 to 3 months, I went back to college, graduated with my associate degree in business administration, got into a private university, and I now have my bachelor’s degree in Business Administration (HR and Management) and a minor. And along this journey, there were late nights of crying, debating whether I wanted to go back to this toxic relationship just saw my daughter would have a father figure, feeling alone, not knowing whether I could do this by myself. My ex would tell me that I’m never going to make as much money as he does, would constantly put me down, and when we were going to court for custody and child support, he would post on social media that I only wanted to use our daughter as a check. He hired a lawyer, and would tell me that he was gonna take our daughter from me and get full custody. He gets visitation, no physical custody, and has to pay child support. I did everything that I could do which was get on county or state aid with a Childcare referral to be able to have my daughter in childcare when I finally had to go in person in school. I would work part time for SHIPT and take my daughter with me since I didn’t have family to help. I was taking up to 21 units of classes, no summer breaks just so I could finish.

Eventually, on this journey, I also met my now, husband who ultimately healed the rest of what was broken inside of me, the part that thought I could never trust another man again. Now being pregnant with with our son, I have such an amazing partner who not only loves me, but loves the child that I came into the relationship with. He treats her no different than his own blood and puts her needs above anything else. You will find that happiness and a person that loves you and support you and the way that you need, but also, that will love your child in the way they need as well.

Also, you don’t want to be with somebody who is capable of monstrous things and harming other individuals. Let alone someone who’s telling others, the child isn’t his when he admitted to getting your pregnant on purpose.

You definitely need to consider getting your ducks in a row, have him give up his parental rights in writing, especially if he is telling other individuals that the baby isn’t his, then he should have no problem with giving up his rights. If you go to court for child support, the judge will automatically put in a requirement for a DNA Paternity test. I wouldn’t wait for him to make a move.

Single Moms