Is it possible for ppd to develop months after birth? My son is now 2 months old and I feel that I’ve hit a severe decline. I was doing great and didn’t recognize myself having any issues. I’m hypersensitive to this kind of thing as I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for years. I stay home with my son while my husband works. He is military, so the days are long and sometimes he has trainings for a week or so at a time and not home. Typically he leaves at 5am and comes home around 5-5:30pm on a regular workday. During the evenings, he will prepare for work the next day, eat then get ready for bed. He is not helping me with the baby and the household as much as I’d really like him to be, despite numerous conversations. I’m up with the baby all night. Typically every 1-2 hours between feedings and then about 30-45 minutes to feed, change and put baby back to sleep. If my husband takes a shift it is because I wake to the baby crying, wake my husband up and ask him to please help me. He will usually only feed once a night and this is only if I wake him to do so. On top of this, he will seldom feed the entire bottle and does not change the baby’s diaper either therefore I have to wake back up again sooner because as I call it, “the task was not completed” so my son wakes up hungry and wet soon thereafter. I care for our son all day long, which is my job of course, but I’d like a break when my husband gets home. My husband gives me a “break” but in doing so, he’ll have me make the bottles, bring him things, cook for him, etc because he’s “sitting down holding the baby”. This is not the break I’m looking for but rather me taking care of my husband taking care of the baby. I do 100% of the laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, baby preparations (nighttime routine, bottle prep, bath, bottle cleaning, baby laundry, etc). I am quite utterly just fucking exhausted and beginning to resent my partner more and more by the day. Arguments are becoming regular and more verbally volatile as a result of me being so worn down and having no help.

In addition to this, both of my parents are incredibly busy at work and with other commitments to provide much help. If they are able to help, I have to pack everything up and bring it over there rather than the help coming to me.

My best friend who lives very close to me and was incredibly supportive during the pregnancy just experienced a traumatic miscarriage well into her pregnancy and therefore does not want much involvement with children. I completely understand and empathize with this but what I’m saying is this eliminates the last person who could help me.

Last night I came to my breaking point laid over the toilet that I’ve been drinking too much. I’ve been doing this to numb some of these feelings as I don’t feel there is a whole lot I can do about the situation. I also felt that it made me more outgoing and allowed me to have more “fun” conversations with people, my husband included. I removed the alcohol from my house and made a promise to myself that I’d get it together before I allowed myself to drink again.

With all of this being said, I would really like to hear what some of your thoughts are and or how I could improve my mental health and situation. I love my son to pieces and recognize he is absolutely not the problem here but I am not 100% and it is effecting me daily now.

Postpartum Mental Health Support