This is my last baby n my first boy..I woke up the morning of my baby shower on 3/21/21 feeling contractions..next thing I know I'm calling my husband n doctor n then heading to the hospital bc I know this was it..I was in so much pain, seems like my contractions were way worse than normal..my doctor examined me n we figured out the baby was transverse which means he was sideways so they started prepping me for my first ever c section..I wasnt scared yet, I was in too much pain..but then once I got into the operating room I started getting scared..ive never even had surgery before much less a major one like this..afterwards once they pulled my son out, I could see he wasn't moving so I started freaking out even more..finally they brought him to me for a a second n I could see he was kinda breathing..so far he's been in the NICU for 2 weeks, born at 4lbs 14oz..his biggest issue was his lungs but he's been off oxygen for about a week now, they removed his feeding tube yesterday n I got a text from the nurse saying he can go home in 2 days..im so freaking nervous..but the nurses have been absolutely wonderful with making sure I am ready n so is he..ive had so many emotions during this time, the biggest one being guilt for not protecting him n also for my other 2 babies who are 21 months n 10 months...leaving them to visit him makes me feel bad but I gotta do what I gotta do, especially since I'm trying to breastfeed..im nervous for life at home, I don't want to break my fragile little one! But I'm so over being in the hospital now

To all the NICU moms out there, prayers for u n ur little one..it doesn't last forever n eventually everything will be ok..

NICU Babies