Sexual exploration can be a bit confusing, especially if you’re new to it or coming from a background where it might not have been openly discussed. It’s awesome that you’re curious and want to understand your body better.

The sensations you’re describing, feeling good but then hitting a point of discomfort or overwhelm, are totally normal, especially when you’re still figuring out what works for you. The intense feeling you’re experiencing might be the buildup towards orgasm, but it can feel overwhelming if you’re not used to it or if you’re accidentally overstimulating sensitive areas. Pain or discomfort, though, suggests you might need to adjust your approach. Here are some tips:

* Take it slow and relax. The key to enjoying masturbation and potentially reaching orgasm is relaxation. If you’re feeling tense, anxious, or pressured (even by yourself), it can make sensations feel too intense or uncomfortable. Try creating a calm environment—maybe dim lights, soft music, or a private space where you feel secure. Take deep breaths and focus on enjoying the process rather than aiming for orgasm as a goal.

* Experiment with different techniques. The discomfort you’re feeling could be due to overstimulating sensitive areas, like the clitoris or using too much pressure. If you’re rubbing your clitoris, for example, try using lighter, indirect touch like circling around it rather than directly on it, or do it over your panty. You can also rub elsewhere—your inner or outer lips around your vaginal opening, your breasts or nipples, or tap over your clitoris with your closed hand, or just apply pressure over your vulva with your closed hand. You can do this when it gets overwhelming to let the sensation subside a bit before continuing. or using a personal lubricant to reduce friction. Experimenting with different touches, speeds, and pressures can help you find what feels good without crossing into discomfort.

* Use a personal lubricant. If you’re feeling any pain or discomfort, it might be because of friction. You can get a water-based lubricant from most pharmacies, supermarkets, or online. It will make things smoother and more comfortable, especially for exploring your clitoris or vagina.

* Listen to your body. The intense sensation you’re describing might be the “edge” of orgasm, where things get really good before they come down. It can feel too much if you’re not used to it. But if it hurts, that’s a sign to pause or change what you’re doing. Try slowing down or easing off when it feels intense, then gradually build back up. You don’t have to push through discomfort - orgasm shouldn’t hurt. If the pain persists, it might be worth checking if there’s an underlying issue (like irritation or a medical condition), but this is rare.

* Explore without pressure. Orgasm doesn’t happen for everyone every time, and that’s totally fine. It can take time to figure out what your body likes. Instead of just trying to “get there,” try exploring for pleasure’s sake. Touch different areas - your thighs, lower stomach, or other erogenous zones - and see what feels good. Sometimes taking the pressure off makes it easier for your body to relax into orgasm naturally.

* Deal with emotional or cultural factors. Growing up in a Christian household, you might have internalized messages about masturbation being wrong or shameful, which can create mental blocks or anxiety during self-exploration. These feelings are common, but they can make it harder to relax or enjoy the experience. Just remember that masturbation is a normal, healthy way to learn about your body. If guilt or shame is weighing on you, it might help to think about your beliefs or talk to a trusted friend or counselor who can offer a balanced perspective.

* If you’re feeling up for it, you could read something about sexual health or anatomy. It can help you understand what’s going on in your body. Books like "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski, or websites like Scarleteen or Planned Parenthood have some really helpful advice on masturbation and sexual pleasure. They’re all about being honest and not feeling ashamed.

Now, to answer your question: If you keep going past the point of discomfort, you might reach orgasm, but if it hurts, it’s better to stop and try to make it feel better. Pushing through pain isn’t worth it, and it could make you think of masturbation as something that hurts. That’s not a good idea. Instead, try different techniques, use some lube, and focus on relaxing. Orgasm often happens when you’re feeling really good and comfortable, not when you’re pushing yourself too hard.

Here is a list of more good books:

* "Becoming Cliterate" by Laurie Mintz

* "Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation" by Jamye Waxman

* "Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving" by Betty Dodson

And a very good but expensive website: omgyes.com