i apologize that this is long, but i wanted to give backstory. please read, i need advice!

so my grandma is 83, and she has quite a few health issues that require her to regularly take medication and closely monitor her blood sugar. she has always been relatively healthy despite all of this, being able to care for herself & work & do anything she pleased. it is also worth noting that she has an eye disease that impacts her vision & is slowly getting worse.

my grandpa passed away almost 3 years ago, and since his death my grandma’s overall state has dramatically worsened. she is retired now, but she has stopped cleaning, picking up after herself, or changing her clothes or showering unless explicitly told. her memory has also began to deteriorate since my grandpas death, which i assume is because she lives alone and without him there she spends a lot of time without anyone to interact with. me & my family members visit her often & bring her groceries and things so that she doesn’t have to drive anywhere with her eyesight the way it is and so she has company with her, but we are unable to be there every day.

the problem is that, not only is she not taking care of herself, she is not taking her medication the way she should anymore. sometimes she says she forgets, other times she says she doesn’t want to. but it is common for my mother to go to refill her pillbox at the end of the week and 8 or 9 of the 14 doses still be in the box from the previous week. she is also very off balance, and refuses to use the walker(s) or cane(s) that we provide for her, and has had at least 5 falls/accidents in the past year. her memory has also began to deteriorate. she remembers everything from her past and her family, she just seems to forget where she puts things down or what she was doing much more frequently.

we as a family all agree that the best thing for her would be to be placed in a nursing home so that there would be nurses there to ensure her medication is given to her correctly, as well as the ability to socialize with the other residents and nurses or do activities to keep her mind engaged. however, when we suggest this idea to her, she immediately refuses and tells us that “this is her house and she wants to stay here”. obviously i completely understand where she is coming from, i wouldn’t want to leave my home either, but i also care about her and want what’s best for her and i know that remaining at home is not what’s best. but, our family cannot afford for someone to provide live-in home care, so does anyone have any suggestions or ideas on ways to convince her that a nursing home would be better for her? i just don’t want to feel like i’m literally kicking her out of her house, so i want her to be on the same page but i don’t know how.

again i know this was really really long & i’m sorry but thank you so much if you read it all & give advice, i appreciate it a lot!

Real Life