TLDR: shits expensive, I’m not poor enough but i sure feel poor. poor people shouldn’t enjoy anything in life they should suffer more. Just kidding, Eat the Rich. Things have to change for everyone. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Before you all tell me how good I have it and how much worse other have it understand that I’m aware I’m very fucking lucky considering, and I know this. But I’m still struggling. Both can be true. I work to survive. And I can’t afford anything after that. One big expense is going to sink me. Their pain and struggle and my pain and struggle both have space in the room, and one doesn’t take away from the other. Both are valid.

I’m also aware that sometimes I choose to take my kids to the pumpkin patch instead of paying a bill on time. I’m aware that’s considered a privilege and will rub people the wrong way. How sick is that? Having to choose between paying a bill or doing something fun during my kids one and only childhood. And living in a world where people will be activated by how ‘irresponsible’ this financial decision is and how lucky I am to even have an option to decide between a bill and something fun for my kids. What is this world?

Here’s the details.

We make $150k gross / $82k net (thanks taxes and health insurance!) We’ve worked with the same company for 20 years(husband) and 15 years (me) both starting making $8-$10/hr and working our way up to where we are now (roughly $26 and $48/hr).

On paper we are fucking RICH. Six figures. High rollers. American Dream for two kids without college educations, with parents who struggled as a single mom and a single income household. On paper we should be swimming in our pool of coins channeling our inner Scrooge McDuck.

In reality I’m fucking pissed at my husband for buying a $5 protein bar without checking with me first. This is not the economy of the 90s.

Got our paychecks Friday, $3,350 net.

-950 mortgage/cars 1 of 2

-600 daycare 1 of 2 (full time, one kid age 3)

-300 electric

-345 phone bill (to explain it’s a family plan and includes me husband and I, both our moms, my dad and my brother and one tablet. Only my dad contributes to his portion, the rest we cover because we’re idiots with poorer family members)

-120 gas bill

-60 pest control

-385 groceries (family of 5 needed all paper/cleaning products this time)

-90 school spirit wear and yo-yo sale (the school spirit wear he wears to school instead of the uniform, so unfortunately we would be buying uniforms if we didn’t buy that, either way it’s a need not a want there)

-300 saved for a family weekend visit out of state next month

-50 for one school picture shirt and a Halloween costume. (The shirt was $15 so it’s not like I bought him Versace to wear)

-80 takeout

-30 to Dunkin

What’s left? About $40 which will be spent on gas. $20 in each car. When do I get paid again? In two weeks.

Next check what will we pay? Mortgage/Cars round 2 (bi weekly payments) daycare second payment, water, cable, electric (we’re actually behind even after the $300 this round) life insurance, car insurance, one of the cars needs inspection (fucking pray it doesn’t need anything) Groceries. School pictures will be knocking.

What can I cut out? Could groceries be less? I buy sales, I use coupons, I cook home 7 days a week it works out to about $27/day feeding 4 people (plus my mom 5 out of 7 days a week), I don’t know I can get it much cheaper aside from buying more processed canned/boxed/jarred food. That one night of takeout I allowed myself because my husband and I both have COVID, feel like shit and this is after 3 weeks straight of cooking home? Should I have told my kids (3 and 6) no to Halloween costumes this year? Make the 6 year old wear a shirt that’s too small for pictures? No school spirit shirts like their friends? No yo-yo? No Donuts and coffee before soccer? All of that would have given me $270 back. Would have caught me up on the electric bill. But fuck man, we work too fucking hard to not be able to do a single fucking thing ‘irresponsibly.’

Should we not visit our family? We haven’t seen them since December 2022 when they came to us. We’re staying at their house, they’re feeding us, we will really only need gas money, one or two nights out to eat and if we run into anything else we need.

Should we just really go bare bones and stop all extras? Cut the cable? I work from home so I guess I could steal Starbucks WiFi, but who will pick my kid up from school while I’m tied to my table there? Just get more childcare for that I guess? Get a library card because I can’t afford to buy books to occupy my time outside of work when I can’t afford to do anything. Turn off cell phones? Who needs those! Turn off the ACs with these record high temperatures this year and keep the heat at 50 when it’s cold and wear coats inside? Grow our own food buy some chickens, a cow and fish/hunt for food? Should I be living on rations like the Great Depression?

Should my husband and I get second jobs, and let my mother in law raise my kids or pay more for childcare? Should we sell plasma?

Should I sell my 4br house (that I bought for $127k in 2015) and cars and rent and take the bus/Uber? Would rent and transportation be less that $1900/month for the 5 of us?

Oprah and The Rock recently asked for Americans to chip in and donate money to the fund they created to help the people of Maui. Oprah is worth over 2 Billion and The Rock is estimated around $800 million. I rescheduled a dentist appointment because I can’t afford the $30 co-pay. The two of them are worth more than my entire family and probably everyone I know will make over the course of their entire lives. And they want money from us?

I would love to have enough money to pay all my bills on time (on fucking autopay so I don’t even have to think about them!), go out to eat once a week, fill both my gas tanks, be able to get a coffee before soccer and do one fun activity with my kids a week. My kid needs new sneakers? Buy them now instead of having to wait until the next paycheck! I’d like to take my kids on vacation twice a year, to somewhere awesome, not the jersey shore for a few days on a budget.

I don’t know what the answer is. I know people have it worse. I don’t know how to fix it. But somethings got to fucking give. We all can’t keep living like this.

To answer some comments yes, we contribute to our 401k to get the company match, 7k so far this year. Taxes are at about 29k so far this year . insurance/dependent care and PTO 15k. Take home $62k.

Our cars are technically paid off but rolled into our refinance (at 2% so we absolutely cannot refinance now with the insane rates or get a car loan for something older and/or smaller) which is why I lump them together, they are all one loan, so selling them truly doesn’t make sense, and they’re not new both 2018s a GMC Acadia and a Subaru Forester (it snows a lot where we are). We’re not driving new BMWs.

Have considered selling feet pics, selling used panties, selling farts in a jar (thanks for the idea TIKTOK) and signed up to attempt to sell poop (it’s a thing, Google it)

Rant!