This is a list of things to remember/suggestions for those who were unwillingly broken up with:

1. You are hurting, and you will for a while, but it will all pass with time and some space. Personally the less you see of that person on social media, the sooner you'll work through it. So stop! Stalking! Them! They made their choice, don't let them see that you're always going to be hanging back for them.

2. It's not helpful when you're really hurting, but a key remembrance is that there really are plenty of fish in the sea! So many other potential people are going to see your worth and flock to you, and that person who hurt you will regret letting you go.

3. In my opinion, every person you love/have a relationship that doesn't work out is a stepping stone. You learn something new every time, and you figure out what works for you and how to be a better person overall. So by the time the right person finally comes around (and they will, sweetness), you are your best self to give to them.

4. Keep in mind that the general cause of the breakup is probably that you both had different needs or wants that you could not provide for the other person. Maybe one of you saw marriage/family and the other didn't agree. Maybe it was something regarding sex. Maybe it was emotional/support. Whatever the case, sometimes things just don't line up the way you want them so desperately to, and ending it is the best route (not to say the person dumping you still didn't break your heart or is necessarily right in their decision, just that in the long term mindset maybe it's a blessing in disguise). ((ALSO: cheating, abuse, etc. makes them a major douchebag/shitbag, and it's nothing on you.))

5. Realize that you can and absolutely WILL be happy again, especially by yourself. Being miserable all the time is letting them have control over your life even though you don't even talk anymore. Fuck that! Take time to let your feelings wash over you because that's important, but also get back out there and do things that make you happy or at least distract you. You are far too much of a strong person to ever let someone else dictate whether or not you're happy.

6. This I feel I have to disclaim especially that, even though these are all very optional and everyone goes through the motions differently, it's totally your choice. But in my experience, definitely don't try to have a rebound. If you're someone who gets very emotionally attached or falls in love easily/deeply, this isn't going to help you. In fact, it might make it worse. I did once, and most of the time I just wondered why I was even messing around with this person and I felt like garbage.

If you're somebody who is ready for a serious relationship and connection, this is a waste of time. Casual hooker-uppers, if you want to then do, no one's saying you can't because it's your decision. Just think about it beforehand, as a rule of thumb with anyone in any romantic situation.

Back to the softies, try instead being by yourself for a while and staying busy in the meantime. It'll help you get over that hurtful person so you're not distracted by sadness when you do see someone again, and you can focus all your attention on them. Bonus: being single does have its benefits.

Ok, well I think that's pretty much all I can think of! You are strong, you are loved, and you are going to be ok, sweetness. Don't forget to reach out if things are really hard!

Dealing with Breakup

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