It looks like I am getting here kind of late. But I have this to offer.

I am a bi-racial female (African American dad & Caucasian mom). I was raised by my mother, by herself. She happened to be the black sheep of her family. She never tried to make me pick a side, so to speak. In my mind I was just always my mother’s & father’s daughter.

My mother’s family not so kind. But I am now 53 years old and have been making my own decisions with respects to them since my early 20’s.

Here’s where things go interesting and one day I actually had to think about what race I considered by the US government. I want to preface this by saying I hate politics for reasons such as this. In 2016 when a new person entered the White House my views about myself and other biracial people (especially a friend of mine that I worked with) changed drastically given the shenanigans that were going on in our country at that time and during the 4 years that followed. For the 1st time in my T that time 45 years of being alive I had to really think about my race. The US government considers you African American if you have I don’t remember what the percentage is but I know for sure it’s less than the 50% that I am. I am a black female. You don’t look like it, I look more Spanish than anything - which is an entirely different conversation.

I say all of this to say that your mom was raised in a different time. I imagine it wasn’t easy for her and your father to be together. Her family may or may not have called her names. I don’t know all the details. But I’m sure she’s not intentionally trying to make you choose. But she doesn’t want you to miss out on what there is to be proud of by being a black woman. She doesn’t want you to not be aware of the struggle of black women - it’s real. It’s not always real to us biracial ladies. But look around - notice that you can speak for your black counterparts when they can’t speak for themselves, I have very light skin and people think about me what they are comfortable thinking. They see me & my mom and assume a lot.

Being my mom’s & dad’s daughter it’s still the same. However I have had to assign a dominant race to that in order to be mindful of when someone is doing something wrong, to have a voice for others when they can’t have one for themselves and to protect my own self. You are young and living in a different time. But for those of us that are older these things Hit just a little different.

Your mom loves you and she’s just trying to do what’s best. Talk to her about it. Just ask her why she keeps doing that. She might have a story not much unlike what I have explained to you here.

All the best and FYI us mixed chicks rock!!! 😉

Biracial Living