Hello,

Ive been trying to find some sort of group like this, something anonymous, that I can go to and talk to people in the same boat as me, but unfortunately I haven’t found anything like this where I live and online’s been difficult as well.. until now, I’m hoping.

I found this group and I figured let’s give it a try..

I’ve been with my husband for 7 years. Married for 3 and dealing with ED for 5.

That’s right. I married him knowingly that he had some sort of performance issue. Back then, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it is now. He had some trouble maintaining an erection but didn’t have trouble getting one unless he was under alcohol influence.

A couple of months before our wedding I got pregnant, literally by trying to conceive just once, because we were expecting the worst case scenario and we thought it would take months to years before we could conceive due to his ED + my PCOS. So we decided to give it a go and begin the process of trying to conceive before, assuming it would take longer for us than for regular healthy people.

By the grace of God, we got pregnant in one shot and I know this because we only had sex that one time before our wedding...

Since my daughter was born (she is now 28 months old) we must’ve had sex maybe once a month, and it’s probably less than that because we have gone weeks without at times, and my husband has not been able to ejaculate through intercourse since July 2017... so 3 years now. He’s less than enthusiastic when it comes to having sex. He calls it “trying” and I know its become like a chore or an obligation to him because that’s also how I feel 90% of the time.

I’m not much of a drinker but I’ve felt at times that I’ve needed to drink in order to get things going for the both of us, not because I’m not attracted to him but because I just feel so shattered and so neglected in all of this, and because he depends on me to boost his ego and to set the mood.

I’ve never depended on alcohol to be in the mood for sex. I have a naturally very high sex drive.. or had I should say. Higher than most, I would never say no. I know everyone enjoys sex and loves it but I really, just am a sexual person and I feel as though these last few years just constantly being told no whenever I would ask him for sex or just never feeling like he’s attracted to me (even though I know he can’t help his sexual performance anxiety issues) has taken a toll on my libido and my desire’s gone down significantly).

I’ve been wanting to have another baby since the end of last year, and I’ve been trying to get him to try with me but no luck. Recently the sex has gone from very bad and unexistant to pretty great again (he’s still taking Cialis, and does not feel comfortable trying to have sex without yet.. so I guess you can say he’s very dependant on it) so, at least that’s working in my favor but he’s just not able to finish...

He’s talking to a psychotherapist who specializes in sexual health, and she does boost his confidence quite a bit and pushes him to try new things which is probably the reason why the sex has gotten a lot better and a little more frequent than it was a few months ago, but he’s just blocked. Something is stopping him from ejaculating through sex and he just can’t get there.

I’ve been patient and I’ve been happy to only do it on his terms. At this point, I’ve stopped crying about him telling me things like “not today”, I’ve stopped questioning if it’s me, because I know it’s not me now, and I’ve stopped feeling sorry for myself. I understand that it’s not his fault now. I don’t resent him or dislike him. On the contrary I love my husband and I hate that he has to carry this with him. I know he hurts over this.

And I see a light at the end... he’s really trying now. We hit rock bottom earlier this year, and we even discussed divorcing... but that’s just not an option. We are soulmates. We love each other very much and that discussion alone, tore us to pieces. We could never...

But I still feel a little defeated and heart broken everytime we do have sex and it results in nothing. I just want him to ejaculate. For him and for me, because I want another baby. It’s time...

Im really sorry for the long post. I guess I’m just looking for advice here.. i don’t know what else to do. I’ve recently discovered Mosie baby... I’m debating it and actually leaning towards trying it. I figure it’s my best option at the moment if I want to get pregnant. It can’t hurt to supplement with Mosie baby, while we continue to try the natural way...

Has anyone else tried it? Or does anyone else have any advice for me... thanks in advance. Hope everyone finds the support they need in this regard.. I know how difficult it is for the person with this condition, but I also know how it leaves a partner broken as well..

Here to talk if anyone needs ! X

Husbands/SO's with ED