I feel like its not okay

I feel like its not okay to be upset/sad that my ex committed suicide. We've been broken up for about 7 years, but at one point I did love him.

He broke my heart. I was a mess... I know it was never meant to be. I'm with someone, and we are serious. Hoping to get married within two years. My ex was married.

We were on good terms, and talked a bit here, and here. It's so crazy, and weird for me.

I think what gets me is I was talking about my relationship one night shortly before I went to bed (something that I normally didn't do) It's not like I talked about him regularly.(he already took his life the the night before) I woke up the next morning to find out he passed away by suicide.