I had an early miscarriage the first week of February. The pregnancy wasn't planned but I was ecstatic. I quit smoking (after 17+ years). I weaned off my anti-anxiety and depression meds. I've had debilitating anxiety and agoraphobia issues for 7+ years. But I was somehow fine. My lifelong dream was coming true.

Unfortunately I miscarried. I've come to accept it. Since then, I've been working on my body, physically and mentally. I see an acupuncturist regularly. I've started daily morning meditation. I've been exercising about 4 days a week.

But I feel like I'm just gaining weight and looking the worst I ever have. Because of all the crazy hormones surging through my body since the pregnancy, I've experienced so many different symptoms of pregnancy and/or PMS.

My appetite has seriously increased too. I've been a pretty healthy eater, but I've let that slip too. I just feel so out of control.

I just want to get myself into a healthier state so I can be pregnant without worrying so much. I'm also 35 and feel like my time is running out.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? I just feel so hopeless.