So here's the deal, back in December my boyfriend broke up with me one night outta the blue after dating for three months. Told me he just wasn't ready for a relationship and he just needed to focus on himself, his job (works outta town 4-5 days a week), his daughter (8 years old) and his recovery (we are both clean addicts). I was so hurt as I didn't expect this and I for some reason had the strongest urge to take a pregnancy test, so that same night I took one...and though I really wasn't surprised, I just had a feeling I was, the test came back positive. I called him the next morning and told him and of course shit just got hectic. He was outright pissed and I was terrified. He didn't talk to me for about a month and if we did talk it was him telling me how I am going to ruin his life if I kept the baby because his ex (other baby mama) is the type of girl to use things in his life to keep him from seeing his daughter.

Then one night I seen him at an NA meeting and he would not stop telling me how beautiful I looked pregnant with his baby and how sorry he was for things he said. We got back together within a week and stayed together up until a week ago..so that was like 4ish months. He had started to become real distant, spending the few days he was home just with his daughter and making excuses as to why he was too busy to hang out with me. I realized he was just trying to make this work for the baby and his feelings for me just weren't there. Since we broke up... A week ago, all we've done is argue. About how he's gonna manage his time when our son gets here. How he thinks I'm stupid for wanting to take 6 weeks off work after I give birth, when most child care places won't even accept babies until they are about six weeks old. And infant programs at child care centers are $1000+ a month..I hardly make that much right now, like I know money is gonna be tight but he's making it seem like I'm gonna be a bad mom if I don't work..and reality is I may possibly be loosing money just to work, id be work just to have my baby sit at a day care, being cared for by someone else, like whats the point of working? Arguing about child support and how if I put him on child support he's not gonna help out with anything else financially.. Like he thinks whatever he will pay will be enough. Arguing about how after our son is born he expects to take him at like two/ three weeks old when he is home from work, also while he has his daughter ..and doesn't want me around because he thinks his baby mama wont like me being around and that she will throw some hissy fit and keep his daughter from him. Like I'm not gonna leave my son at two weeks old!

There are just a lot of little things we don't have worked out and when I try to just bring them up he thinks I am "out to get him" when I am just trying to get a better understanding of what he expects things to be like.

Both of us are very excited and joyful for our son to arrive but the stress of everything else is becoming way too much. I try to just not talk to him and leave things as they are but there are things we do need to talk about that he is just unwilling to even be brought up.

Things are so difficult to accept, that we won't be together to raise our child together, especially after we got back together and I started to get a bit of hope that things were gonna be okay and work out. Hard to accept that he doesn't have feelings for me as I do for him. Hard to accept the fact that I'm gonna be a single mommy.

I am 24 weeks (on Sunday) and I know this amount of stress isn't healthy, on top of my depression which has excessively increased in the last few months, and the stress I am experiencing at work.

This is a long post so if you've taken the time to read it all I'd greatly appreciate some positive advice on how to go about things.. No criticism please. Where do I go from here. How do manage taking care of a new born on my own (at this point). I know I can apply for assistance through the state but I don't wanna rely on assistance and child support to get me by.

I am so lost at what to do and where to go from here.