What's wrong with "papa"?

Question

My SO and I are ttc baby #3.  My first two children are young, and call him papa.

They see their "dad" 2 days a week. So in essence, they spend more time and have more fatherly experiences from my SO or their "papa".

He wants hypothetical baby to call him dad. I feel like this will make my babies feel like red-headed step kids. We're in a big argument about it right now.

He says it's something he's always dreamed of, is having a little one calling him dad. I feel that if he really, genuinely feels my children are his own (which he says he does) that all the kids should refer to him in the same way, so as not to feel odd or left out.

Am I being selfish? Am I over reacting? I just don't understand why my children need to grow up feeling like their hypothetical sibling had an active, present "dad" when they didnt..

What's wrong with having a "papa"???

Answer

I think you should let your baby and your SO have the full experience. It's obviously important to your SO that his biological child call him "dad."

If your other two children were to get upset you can explain to them that they have a "dad" and a "papa" whereas the baby simply has its dad and that no matter what they call him, he loves them the same. Then give them examples of things that he does to show his love for them.

Stop overcompensating for the fact that he's not their biological dad. You're creating issues and it's really unfair to your SO and your new baby. Your SO has every right to decide what his child calls him, just as your baby has the right to call it's father "dad"

Answer

Tbh it doesn't matter what y'all want the baby to call him. No matter what you tell the child he or she will call him papa because that's what he/ she hears the other kids calling him.

Answer

He has a right to be called Dad. I think you are being selfish. He sounds like a supportive step parent. Give him a break. Would you be happy if you were a stepmom about to have your own biological child and he argued that your own blood should call you anything other than Mom?!

Answer

I think that it's selfish to expect a father to not be allowed the joy and right to be called dad.  Simply put, you chose to have children with different men....and then are choosing your children's feelings over these different men.  If you care about your SO enough to purposefully make a baby with him, you should care enough to understand that regardless of your other bio children, this is his bio child and has every right to be called whatever he likes.  What if things don't work out with your SO down the road and you have a 4th with another man?  Will you require your kids to call him all a different name than papa or dad bc there are 2 other men in their life?

That being said, kids will call you what they want.  The baby may pick up on "papa" bc of the other kids but he/she may also choose "dad" bc your SO refers to himself as such in talking and interacting with the baby.

Answer

If he wants his kid to call him dad you really have no right to take that away from him. If your kids want to call him Dad like the new baby then he's probably be fine with it. You get to be Mom so he should get to be Dad.

Answer

I understand where you're coming from, but this isn't an argument you're going to win. If he feels like part of being a parent is having a child of his own call him "dad," you have no right to take that dream from him. 
 
But, in all likihood, the baby is going to call him what he hears the other kids calling your SO. That's when it's your job as wife and partner to encourage the baby to call your SO "dad" because it is very important.

Answer

I agree with you completely. Was raised by a step parent who was more of a dad than my own. Stand your ground

Answer

If he wants his biological child to call him dad that's his decision to make not yours. Where did your kids get papa from? I don't think your kids are really going to feel worth any less just because they call him papa not dad.

Answer

Your kids know he's not their dad. Let his baby call him dad.

Answer

The kids will decide. You can encourage your new baby to call him "dad", but with the siblings calling him "papa" that may be what sticks. I called my mom "Juie" (Julie) from when I started talking until about 4 because everyone else called her by her first name. She hated it, but couldn't stop me; I would call her Juie and she would say "no, it's mom!" And I didn't care at all, haha!

What's wrong with "papa"?

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