When we started to hang out he was not with his wife, she dumped him because "she had a dream that she was happy and he was not in her dream"...

He begged her for months and she would ignore him. They were still living together but not sharing bed.

Like 2 or 3 months after his "break up" we went to get a beer for the first time (we used to work together)

One thing lead to another and we spent the night together. (I liked him way before I even knew he was married)

I'd like to say I didn't even know they were still living together. I knew they were not "a couple" anymore.

We hang out again like 3 weeks after.

And I had a serious crush on him. And I was behaving like he was "single" because that's what I knew...

I would text him and try to get closers to him. You know?

Then he would drop me home every night, even though I lived like 25 min away and he lived right next to our office. So I thought things were getting real.

One day he tells me he can't be on a relationship with me. But he really likes me and wants to hang out...

And even though I never thought I would do something like it. I said wth

We stopped going out that often but I kissed him or go to bang with him

I started falling for him big time. And like two months after I even quitted my job because I didn't want to get hurt. And I was seriously in loved with this guy already.

I change jobs and he keeps looking for me every 1 or 2 weeks...

And for some stupid reason I wouldn't say no to him.

Like 2 months after I tell him this can't go on, he asked me to see me one last time. And we did. And it was not the last time of course. But we didn't see each other that often either.

Like 4 months passed and I found out that he's having a baby. I asked him about it and he said yes. She was like 7 months pregnant at that time.

(Baby's is turning 2 years this may)

I was devastated. But wouldn't show it to him.

He kept on looking for me. And I was still deeply in loved with him. We would see each other like 2 times per month. Hang out. Have a couple of beers and well...you know.

Like at the end of that year, I decided to move out of town. So I wouldn't see him anymore. I will force not to be able to see each other anymore.

But guess what, he drove to get where I was.

Every now and then.

I lived out of town like 8 months. And got back to hometown. And he would come to see me every week.

I did told him like in 3 different occasions. That we needed to stop. I even got to tell him I was in loved ( I thought if I tell.him.he would run away)

He didn't.

Basically we had been seeing each other for 25months and guess what. I got pregnant taking the pill.

When I told him, he said that he would help me out. And he thought I was going to make a big deal.and tell everyone. And he said he would care if i did. Like if he actually wanted me to do it. I said I didn't want that much drama and I'd deal.with it myself.

Then once I told him not to call me again (hormones)

When I was like 20 weeks we hang out.

And he's been asking since then how am I. And how's the baby...

I want the baby to have his last name. But I haven't tell him yet.

I'm not planning to do it so he gets a divorce (which is most likely what would happen) so he can be with me. That's not my plan at all. Believe me. I just think that my baby has the right to have a last name that is not mine. He has the right to know he has a father.

I am not proud at all for what I did. Not at all. Of course my family doesn't have a clue that my baby's father is married. They think I dated an ahole that didn't want anything to do with the baby.

Of course I'd be judged by what I did.

I'm thinking to wait until my baby is born. And once he's born, tell him I want the baby to gets his last name.

So he can have enough time to figure out what to do and whom to tell what's going on.

I just believe the baby has the right to know who his daddy is. Regardless of what we did or how we did it.

What would you say? What would you do?

Named him with my last name and pretend he doesn't have a father at all?

Have him named with my last name and request the changed afterwards?

Or never use my last name and use only his?

Thanks in advance for reading this huge thing.