Struggling

Me and my boyfriend were together 3 and a half years, for one of them years we were trying for a baby which resulted in 4 miscarraiges, we were viewing houses to buy and he even bought an engagement ring 2 weeks prior. 3 weeks ago he just up and decided it's not what he wants anymore! Not knowing I'm actually pregnant and things are actually going well. Well since he found out he is so angry asking me to get rid and saying I'm having this baby to ruin his life and to spite him! why would I do that after what I've been through?? And even though he has said these horrible things over and over I miss him terrible!!!!! And I'm absolutely arguing with myself at the moment how can you love and hate someone at the same time!!

And yes I am planning on keeping the little pea already had an ultrasound hearing the little heart beat was magical!