Expecting mothers with bipolar disorder

Im 13w1d and I suffer from Bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and boy has it been hard on me and my partner. I take my meds everyday and try to cope with my triggers , but I think with my raging hormones it hasn't done me too well. I'm an emotional wreck I cry over everything and very little times I think of suicide. I don't want to be like this but haven't had much luck with the doc she said just keep taking my meds. It's been really hard for my partner as he thinks I'm not excited about our baby but I am , I wish he understood the down right truth about my disorders. It's extremely difficult for me because on the outside I'm fine but the inside I'm stuck in a glass box watching my life self district and I can't do anything but watch in devistation ... Most of my problems is feeling worthless and depression .. It's extremely hard to come down from a bad mood or trigger ... Has anyone experienced bipolar and pregnancy and what are some things u do to calm urself from triggers or change in moods ? And how is ur partner coping with it ? Mine is doing the best he can and he tries to understand but I feel unless u have it or going thru it u couldn't possibly understand .... Let me know ur thoughts ....