Yes, I'm a mom. Just because my child grew wings before I him, doesn't mean I'm not a mom. Just because I never told you, doesn't mean it doesn't count.

I've been a silent mom because I didn't want to be judged... I didn't want to hear "you can try again", "oh it's OK your still young". Even when I do birth a child, you will always be my first. You taught me how to genuinely love, and for that you will be my first. Even though I've never seen more than of you than a little white circle on a screen, I miss you so much. I never named you because I didn't know what you were, I knew you would be my little elephant, so I said Elayna for a girl, Ellyot for a boy. I had a dream one night I really believe your a boy. I blame myself everyday, even though I know it was God's will, but that doesn't make it not hurt. I love you oh so much that amount of words or worth. You will always be my Angel, even if no ones ever believes me I know you were there. Have fun flying in the sky Ellyot, and keep your PaPa close.