don't know what to do.

My ex boyfriend pressured me into sex before we broke up. I told him no more than 15 times. I was sick and even tried laying down to sleep but he kept prying and asking and got really upset when I said no. He even pulled me off of the couch and into the kitchen to try and get me to say yes. I eventually gave up trying and now I'm kind of an emotional mess. I hate him. He knew I didn't want to. And it hurt really bad. I even said "I don't think I want to continue doing this." During it and he didn't stop. He guilt tripped me. And I was terrified to confront him about it but when I did about five days later he said that he knew what he did the morning after but just didn't want to mention it to me. That made me more mad. I've talked about it to friends and all of that but I'm still upset about it and scared to trust anybody anymore. I'm scared to be with anybody anymore. It was protected thankfully. And in worried about my period, though I'm having cramps but not bleeding yet. so I don't know. And I'm too scared to bring it up with my friends again because I don't want to bother them with it anymore. I just don't know. I'm a mess.