My husband is an asshole...

And we haven't been together since Dec 2014. I was 14 weeks pregnant when I left. He got locked up Jan 2015, for something he did before we got together in 2013. I jumped states on him (800+ miles away). So he's never seen our child, except for the few pictures I've sent him.

Now back to the asshole part... He's abusive. Mentally, physically, verbally etc Even while I was pregnant. He's given me several black eyes, broken 2 of my fingers, busted my ear drum, ripped all my clothes up, beat the Shit out of my 14 lb dog.. Just to name a few. I didn't talk to him for most of my pregnancy. He didn't know our child was born til said child was 3 weeks old.

I've paid for a divorce, have the papers all ready to go down to the courthouse to be filed - and I cannot make myself go file them. I don't know why! I'm totally heartbroken that our marriage didn't work out. I love him still very much. I'm a very forgiving person, and he's very manipulative. Since he's been in prison, we have had a few arguements. For the most part, I try not to argue with him. We don't talk all that much to begin with, don't see a point in arguing the few times a month we do speak.

He knows I've paid For the divorce, and he also knows I have not filed for it yet. He told me if I do, he'll sign them & not fight me on anything. But he also says he doesn't want to divorce me & that's the reason he wouldn't pay for it to begin with.

My head is telling me to go file them & just forget about him. My heart is telling me to give him another chance. I do not trust him though. I wouldn't trust him to be in a room alone with me. He's choked me out to the point of me almost passing out before. He's done jail time for attempted murder before, and the only reason he didn't kill the guy is bc his gun jammed.

I know the right thing to do is to go file for the divorce.. But I need some reassurance! I thought I had moved on, but I know I haven't fully moved on. No matter what, I'll always love him - after all, we do have a child together.

Please, no rude comments! If you've ever been in love before, you know how hard it is to truly get over them, regardless of what they have done.

Update- He's been married & divorce before, I truly believe he'll not give me any problems over that. He has other children & is a good father - I just don't trust him around my kid either bc I don't want him beating another woman in front of my child.

Stephanie - he actually has 6 children. And he's never beaten any of them. Spanked, yes, but there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying I would go back with him, I'm just saying the actual divorce process is really breaking my heart more than it should.