PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR INPUT

Okay.. so my mom and dad divorced a long time ago, i was probably a year or two old.. my father was seeing us (his 6 kids) every now and then.. but when i turned 13, we got into a huge dispute over his new wife and her 4 kids.. so needless to say, i havent talked to him in 5 years.. then out of nowhere, he wants to try to make things up with me.. and ask if him and his wife could throw me a baby shower, there where they live (about 2 hours away)... here's the issue.. i do believe my mom and sister are already throwing me one here, where i live, and know tons of people.. amd have friends from all over the state planning to come.. so i would just say that my father should just join this one.. but him and my moms side of the family dont speak..

So then i would say okay to him, but then theres the problem, that

1: i dont hardly know anyone over there

2: the people i do know, my father doesn't like, so probably wouldn't go

3: ive been pregnant 2 other times, amd lost the babies.. and he had nothing to say, didnt even show up at the funeral for the twins i lost prematurely.

And lastly 4: his wife has 2 daughters pregnant as well, and will be attempting to plan their baby shower as well im sure...

What do i do?? Im trying to be the bigger person and put the past in the past, but in this situation its hard.. especially with what im thinking. And just making him wait to see me or the baby, until its born, and i decide to go up there.. but thats a little harsh?? Seeming as how he is trying to be a better person..

And i cant ask family for help, because they would all just tell me "screw him" "he doesn't deserve it" but i see it as how this will be his 1st BLOOD grandchild, and if he's trying. I would like my baby to have a grandpa..

Uuugggghhhhh 😟😟😭😭😭😭 what do i do