I'm sure what you are going through is normal for some rape victims. I would suggest talking to a counselor. Big hugs. 

I was raped at 13. Sexual fantasies of rape are common for those who have experienced sexual trauma. 

I was raped when I was 13, I became obsessed with rape scenarios and have a sick interest that sometimes turns me on. You're not alone. I theorized it's a way of coping.

You aren't alone so don't feel bad! I've had these thoughts too, sadly!

Very true... Your not alone. My husband thought I was crazy. He is the only other person to have me and I told him that I want to make all sex about us. It is kinda disgusting in a sense but what made me change my mind was that this is my (then boyfriend), let me rewrite those feeling with him to make them ours. Ide rather be aroused by my husband than be hurt by a memory and be scared of sex like I used to. 

Rape victim same thoughts 

It is a kink to some people. It may be strange but that's fine. There is a difference between actually being raped and for example roleplay of a rape scenario. It's nothing to be ashamed of, you're okay. But if you feel that you need to talk to someone about it then please do. Just remember you're not a bad person and you're not doing anything wrong. I hope you feel better!

After being raped by 4 different people on several different occasions and suffering ptsd from that, I have to say I don't understand. Sorry. That doesn't seem right to me. 

I was molested on a school bus when i was 10/11 by a high school boy. Somehow i thought i needed to lose my virginity so i had the most aweful experience with a boy i really liked at the age of 12. And yes i do think the molesting had to do with me wanting to have sex. I guess i wanted to know why that guy was doing what he was doing. Well then after my first bad experince it just got worse and worse till i was 22 and things finally got better. Took 12 years for me to let the past go. Even recent past.