I don't know if I'm going through some crazy depression or not.. But I'm just sitting here.. 31 weeks pregnant.. And reminiscing what my body used to look like... I'm sad because I honest to god don't think I'll ever get it back. I used to be 145lbs and now I'm 200... I did everything I wasn't supposed to with this pregnancy and just indulged every chance I could. I gave up on not indulging because if I didn't, I felt like I would get sick. I stopped working out months (4-6) before I got pregnant so I couldn't just pick it back up. I got lazy and now I'm here... Almost 50 pounds later... Still having 8-9 weeks to go... I know.. I know... Us as humans are amazing! And our bodies can do such amazing things! LIKE GROW HUMANS! TINY ONES! I get it. It's amazing.. But I'm just not happy with MY appearance. My fiancé says he loves me and thinks my body is beautiful... And the stretch marks that I've managed to get ALL OVER are beautiful... But.. I don't even remember the last time he actually tried to have sex with me.. I mean actually try because he's actually attracted. Not because he just "needs to get a load off of his shoulders". But he fell in love with a beautiful, blonde, 5ft. 6in., 145lb, athletic girl... I'm anything but anymore. I'm just a fricken cow with a baby 😭 I'm sorry to be all sad and depressed ladies.. Is this normal? 😔