Liberal sex

I wish I could be so carefree with my sexuality. I'm all for people having fun and doing whatever they want. But in regards towards myself I think so negatively. In the 3 years since I lost my virginity I've had 2 partners but like most females I never pictured myself being with anyone but my first. When me and my second partner ended things I thought to myself who wants to marry and be with someone's sloppy thirds? Like who thinks of themself like this. So negatively. Smh. I hate it. (No negative comments please this is a fear and thought process I've never told or expressed to anyone)