Hurting

I don't know what's wrong with me 😢 I feel so lonely and hurt. I keep finding myself going through my oh phone even though there isn't anything on there. We're engaged an I just keep feeling like I should tell him we shouldn't be. I love him but really can't seem to get over the past or the things he's done to me in the past I've tried talking to gum but nothing makes me feel better I don't know what to do anymore. I'm hoping it's just pregnancy hormones