I don't like being a mom (yet?) 😫😭

My LO is almost 3 weeks old and sure he's adorable but the lack of sleep and not being on a schedule is just about to break me. My husband is going back to work tomorrow and told me he isn't going to be able to help out with the nighttime madness anymore. Sure I can sleep during the day but every little noise our LO makes I wake up to make sure he's not suffocating. I had an emergency c-section and recovery has been rough so far. I can't wait to feel myself again and for underwear to be able to fit. I'm a consultant so my work is 100% travel and I'm counting down the days (45) until I return to work and get to hire a nanny. When baby is sleeping he is fine but I just can't do this 😭😭😭😭. Just needed to vent. We built our apartment above my hubbys parents house and I am so close to locking my MIL out, every time she comes up she comments on how myself, the baby or my husband are "naked" -Bitch I'm breastfeeding, if you don't like that my shirt is off don't flipping come were no one invited you!