Is there anyone in this same boat?

Sex with my husband is so routine.

We only do it when he wants to

When I initiate, he complains about how I do it or why I do it or when I do it. And usually always denies me.

My sex drive is way higher than his clearly. For me, it takes me a significant amount of foreplay before I can even get wet... he refused to put in the time to get me wet. He just eats me out, which I honestly don't like but I have to fake an orgasm for him to stop and actually have intercourse with me. He refuses to use toys, he doesn't like lube, he doesn't like trying new positions or new locations. He doesn't like to talk dirty to me throughout the day. In fact, he usually doesn't even passionately touch and kiss me unless he's trying to have sex. There's no intimacy or affection. Unless of course he's ready to have sex and even then, it's only a few seconds before he starts licking. He's somehow made sex an uncomfortable topic for me to bring up. By making me feel like that's all I think about the few times I have tried to talk. Therefore its hard for me to tell him these things. It's literally either how and when he wants it or nothing at all. I married young, I've only been with 3 guys total. I've never experience wild, spontaneous, sensual sex. Not even once. Don't I deserve to experience an orgasm atleast?! Just one time before I die?! Don't I deserve a man that cares enough to ask me how I like it or how I want it?! There has been some days that I tell him I don't want oral tonight, I try to stop him and hed yank or push my legs open and do it anyway.