I lost my baby
I can say that now.
I couldn't accept it until now.
My first "rainbow baby" joined its sibling on April 15th.
I guess I'd convinced my body that it was stil pregnant. Convinced my mind that they'd find it when I got an ultrasound for pelvic pain today. But I'm clear. Cleared out.
I try to keep a strong face. I have since it happened. But I'm sitting in my car bawling my eyes out. I don't know if I want to do this again. I haven't cried since it happened. Now? I'm a mess all over again.
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