Help!!

I am not sure what to do. I seriously HATE sucking dick. Hate it. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I do it every once in a while. I do not make him go down on me because I don't do it for him. But honestly is it taking a big tole on our relationship because he loves head, and I seriously want to cry every time I do it. I don't know what to do. I love him very much. I just hate sticking a dick in my mouth.