Should I leave this dr? Very loong traumatic story pt. 2

Question

So this was strike 3 but doctor put me at ease and I erased it because he really was helpful. Moving foward to That night.. I'm bleeding (it's totally fine dr said this would happen) Tuesday alittle more bleeding (still totally fine 😕 Let's just stay positive it's normal) Tuesday night alittle more ( maybe there's a slight tear and it will heal on its own dr said it was fine Dont worry to much I'll just mention it when they call 😟 Don't freak out). So I get a call from Ms.nurse and I miss it cause I'm asleep and she said that the progestone didn't work my level is at a 5 so we're going to move to a diffent type of capsule. -oh great! This again.. So I call back. This time me.nurse is gone for the day and doctor is making his hospital runs. I mention that I was returning her call and there is bleeding involved and she's like " well dr is not here but tell ya what let's go ahead an do an ultrasound to see if everything is ok how does that sound?-great! Yay! I get to see my baby... So I call John he rushed over her and we rush to the ultrasound place. And it's the same lady that helped us last time. And she's like " what are we in for?" and I mentioned again that I was bleeding and she's like let's take a look and she puts the wand in and I see the baby and me and John just take a deep breath of relief. My first though is yay baby, aww it's so cute! And she measures it and it says 7weeks 2days ( my thoughts: cool... 7weeks 2 days gotta remember that... Wait... But I'm 9 weeks today!) and I see her scanning and scanning and moving around and scanning and scanning the baby and it didn't really hit me what she was doing I just thought she was going thru everything and johns like " are we looking at the heartbeat do you see it" and she just shook her head 'no' " well dr will call you with the result" and she left and we didn't get a picture that's weird. So we get in the car and he's asking me if I'm ok and I'm "yeah I'm fine why?" And he's like " babe there's no heartbeat" and at this point I didn't want to believe it " yeah I noticed it was kind of weird she didn't even give me a picture.. Maybe we'll go to a diffent ultrasound place let's just wait and see what the dr's office says. Within 10 minutes the doctors office calls me and said "did the ultrasound tech tell you what's going on?" "she just said there's no heartbeat" " yes, so at this point your misscarrying because your bleeding already and I scheduled you with the dr. He will go over everything but basically your gonna pass it on your own if not, we will do a d&c (basically vacuum it out) and we might need a tissue sample" Sometime we might ask you for a blood sample because we want to be 100% sure - oh! There's hope this is good.
 I go yesterday and I'm scheduled at 11:30 and I get there at 11 because I want to get everything over with and see if my baby is ok. 5 people are after me and I kid you not I was skipped by all 5 people I was attended at 12:05pm and the dr is in the back talking about food and joking around and at this point I want to cry so bad because there is no compassion, I'm scared to death and you people are ignoring me and I don't feel I'm taken care of strike 3 for sure! So we finally get called, we go into his office and he gets up twice to attend other people. 😑 we wait for another
20 minutes and then he told me that we were mis carrying that it was nothing we did and nothing he did it just wasn't compatible. To not dwell or feel guilty and i will have a lot of discomfort but it's ok. If it doesn't pass by this weekend to schedule a d&c for Tuesday and we said ok.
Conclusion:In the last 48 hours I've been thru a roller coaster of emotions. I blamed myself I should have been more assertive with the doctors. I felt like a bad mom and A horrible wife because I can't bear a child John should just leave me and go find someone who doesn't bring him disappointment.

John thought it was his fault for not being assertive and not doing things for me and leaving when I needed him he really blames himself for leaving on a buisness trip that he needed to go for and thinks it was the stress.

We've stopped blaming each other for now and we just hug in silence.
Update: I've passed the baby and have posted a diffent post with a picture any my expirence. I know this was a long story and thank you for following

Answer

The Dr did nothing wrong,  I'm not sure why you think he did, sorry.

Answer

You know, maybe it's not the doctor's fault, this things happen a lot. But my advice is: follow your heart, if you don't want to see that Doctor anymore, then don't. You NEED to be followed by someone that have all of your trust in order to have no doubts and be calm.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I have been there too, a big hug and be strong. Your time to be a mom will come soon  ❤️

Answer

I understand how you feel. I started spotting Tuesday night. I had a bad feeling but tried to be hopeful by Wednesday at 1:38am I was in so much pain from cramping I couldn't even go back to sleep. I went to the er got there around 6:30 am. I felt like it took forever. All they did for me was take my temp and blood pressure and ask me a few questions. Finally over an hr later they come back in my room ask me a few more questions. Shortly after that they had me pee in a cup. About an hr after that they finally took some blood and gave me pain pills. That was around 8:30 8:45. So I sit there and an hr later they take me in to do ultrasounds she did the one on the belly 1st then did the vaginal. At this point I was half asleep because they made me take oxicodon. It seemed like forever and she never said a word to us she just wheeled me back to my room. So an hr after that they finally tell me it was a definite miscarriage and give me an rh negative card and a shot. I left the hospital around 11. I go to my doctor they give me papers for blood work and send me back to the hospital for blood work. The tech had to call and find out why so they have me come back 2 days later instead of that day. I never go any of my blood test results except blood type which I already knew. Still haven't heard about my 1st results and now haven't heard anything on second. Going trough a tragic event like that it would seem like someone could give you sympothy or at least some closer.

Answer

If you don't like the doctor, don't stay. I didn't like mine, and I won't go back. But they had nothing to do with your miscarriage. Things just happen sometimes. And once it starts, they can't stop it. They can only play the watch and wait game. Which they did, and you all lost. And it's hard. And it hurts. But it wasn't your doctors fault or yours or your partner's. It was just shitty luck. Sometimes that's all it is with a miscarriage.

Answer

You didn't do anything wrong, your partner didn't do anything wrong, your doctor didn't do anything wrong. It's just a sucky situation that so many of us have been in. I'm so very sorry for your loss and wish you weren't experiencing it, but there is no point trying to put blame on yourself or others.

Answer

You need a doctor you can trust. If you no longer can trust this person, you should look for a new doctor.

Should I leave this dr? Very loong traumatic story pt. 2

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