I don't mean to sound selfish
I just turned 21 on April 8th and found out I was pregnant April 18th. I was so excited to finally be 21 and go out, and I won't be able to drink probably until whenever I decide to stop breast feeding. My friends do annual summer trips to seaside and I'm not going to be able to go. I can't drink at my cousins wedding. Can't go to parties anymore.. I mean I could but what fun would that be?
But then I think... That's all so temporary. A child is someone I'm going to have forever, there's going to be so many moments that I will never forget and that will take up more space than I have in my heart! That's worth so much more to me than drunk nights out with people who are also probably temporary.
I'm only 12 weeks, I haven't had a sonogram since 6 weeks and 4 days. It hasn't hit me yet that there is actually a baby inside me and to be honest I don't think it will for awhile. I haven't had any symptoms so half the time I don't even feel pregnant. And I for some reason thought I'd be someone who couldn't get pregnant.. Probably because I was so selfish and self absorbed, I couldn't picture myself being a mother.
The father of my baby wants nothing to do with this, also a situation I never thought I'd be in.. So I plan to love my baby enough for 2 people. There are moments I feel very excited then moments I feel nothing at all. I still have a long way to go, but I think that everything happens for a reason, and I am ready. ❤️
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