I don't even know how to begin how to say what I feel, I feel like I've love this pregnancy already and I don't even know that for sure, I don't even know how to feel anymore either, I was so excited and happy and then I went to upset and not happy, in the beginning my boobs really hurt and now they don't so much, which doesn't always mean what I think it means but o just have this feeling that it's too good to be true, I really don't want to loose this one but I think it's inevitable, I hate feeling this way, I hate these games that God plays with me, and with my fiancé, he lets me get to about 6 weeks then I loose it, I want motherhood so bad that I can taste it but I know it isn't gonna happen. And that hurts me. It's to the point that I give up. I just give up, I'm never going to be a mom, I'm never gonna hear little feet running on the floors and our little babies laughter, or hold them when they cry or give them kisses or anything. And I hate feeling like a failure because I can't have babies because my body won't let me even have one. I've asked God so many times, so many times to help me and guile me. So many times. It's just upsetting and sad to know something you want that your 8mo and 2 days away from wont happen.