2nd baby shower

Posey
So this is my 2nd child and my partners 1st. With my first I didn't have one but my friends planned a "celebration" They invited my everyone over for food and games and drinks(for them not me) and that's it.  My partner and his mother are dead set on having a legit baby shower a huge one at that😖. He wants that experience and to involve his extended family in the pregnancy and all that. I'm super particular on the things I want for the baby and how I dress my kids so I'd rather we just buy everything ourselves. I don't like cutesty patterns and "typical" baby stuff. I also don't feel like spending all this money to throw a party to beg for gifts. They want that gift opening experience and to have a huge party with 100+ people.  Am I being a turd about this and should I just suck it up so that he can have his moment.