Oh boy where do i start :(. Please bear with me.

A little bit of history, i have had 3 miscarriages. All in earlier weeks, and in a year. I was (still) young, and i didn't take any precautions. I thought he was "the one". But prince charming became a raging bull, we were constantly fighting, screaming, crying. I was just so stressed out! Its my fault for keeping myself in a situation like that, and i paid a very heavy price.

Fast forward...

Came back home, got away from what was hurting me the most. I met and fell in love with a man. (Here we go again) then Today i took a pregnancy test because i just felt awkward. I believe it can be 4 to 5 weeks along. I feel really sad, and dissapointed with myself. Mostly terrified about another miscarriage. Then absolutely amazed that there is life developing inside of me.

Im emotionally confused. What do i do to calm myself down? I want to talk to someone thos gone thru a miscarriage then successfully gone full term. Maybe get some closure. :/