How do you stop hating yourself?

Question

I had a miscarriage in April (had a D&C April 20th). I should have been 12 weeks. I just got my period for the first time since the surgery this morning.

Losing the baby was the worst thing I've ever experienced. I thought it would get a little easier as some time passed, but even 2 months later I'm still devastated and depressed. I hate myself. I feel like it's all my fault. My husband did "his part," but my body wasn't good enough to keep the baby alive. I couldn't protect it.

We are trying again and hopefully we get pregnant again soon. Maybe some light at the end of the tunnel will help? But...I can't stop hating myself for being a failure. How do I stop feeling so miserable???

It doesn't help when 90% of my friends are pregnant and a new Facebook pregnancy announcement every few days is like a dagger to the heart...

Answer

I am there with you, I feel your pain. I just gave birth to my stillborn daughter at 41 weeks last Tuesday. So many people around me are pregnant. My daughter was supposed to be meeting her two cousins (8 months and 2 month) right now but somehow she's the one that's not able to enjoy life?
I've talked to people this has happened to 10 years ago and it's true you'll never get over it but it's not your fault. It's like we're playing the lottery of life and we lost. We can't give up though and you need to be strong for your baby who never knew pain who only knew love. ❤️

Answer

I am so sorry for your loss. It's such a terrible thing to go through and I think it's normal to feel sad or anger or even guilty. Please know that most MCs are the result of genetic abnormalities, especially when they happen that early. I know it is a difficult thing to come to terms with, but it is most likely that there was nothing you could do to stop it. I am not sure there is anything that any of us can say that will help your heart heal, but know that we will be here when you need an ear. Xx

Answer

Honey, it is nothing you did. As a believer, I know that the Enemy likes to fill our head with lies that are contrary to God's truth. Chromosomally when the egg met the spirm, something was "off". It's natures way of preventing you from having a baby with a permanent disability or severe lifelong health issues. Try speaking out loud, "I forgive myself, knowing that it isn't anything I have done to cause this to happen. I rebuke any lies from Satan or his demons that it is my fault, I am a failure, and I hate myself. I believe that I will have a healthy, happy baby in due time. In Jesus' name, AMEN." Not sure if you are a believer, but there is power in the name of Jesus! 🙌🏼 I'm also a deliverance counselor, so I'm all too familiar with how demons/evil spirits use a traumatic experience/depression as open doors for demonic torment. Even Christians can be oppressed by demons. They ant be possessed, because they have Holy Spirit and are born again, but that doesn't mean all the junk from our past disappears. I was wondering why I couldn't find freedom although I was born again, in the Bible daily, and involved in church, and the answer was that I had opened doors in my past and junk had to go! Not saying you need deliverance, just saying to guard your heart, thoughts, and words. It truly is a renewing of the mind thing. You CAN overcome this hon. This test will become your testimony. I'm praying for you. You are beautiful and special and loved. You did nothing wrong. 🙏🏼💞

Answer

I ask myself this same question everyday ❤️

How do you stop hating yourself?

Let's Glow!

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