Does your partner know?!

Question

So I have openly named everyone that I have been with (sexually) to my husband. (Before we even got married)my husband has not told me who he was with unless I ask him then he tells me with out an argument or hesitation. now granted I do agree that what happen has happen and you should leave it behind you. But on the other hand I do feel like the person you are married to should have a right to know who and how many people you have been with. Just for the simple fact of A: you don't want them to be blind sided if anyone ever brings it up to them and then be caught off guard, I mean you are suppose to be able to tell your spouse anything! Right.. And B: for the simple fact of respect. I feel you should at least know how many people the person you're with (married or not) has been with. Does anyone agree?

Answer

I'd want to know. Maybe not necessarily who, but definitely how many. Not to be rude and I'm not "slut shaming" but I would never want to be with someone with a high number. To me, when someone has had sex with a ton of people it tells me that sex isn't something all that special to them and it's been something they can do with anyone. And that's not how I am or how I view sex so I just wouldn't want to be with someone who does. All the power to people who do like casual sex with many people, they're just not for me.

Answer

I haven't disclosed this information- but he's never asked. I have a number larger then i would like because it's how I used to deal with some of my issues. However - I have a clean bill of health, and he doesn't want to know. So I definitely think it depends upon your relationship. X

Answer

My husband and I have never told each other with who or how many. It's a conversation that has honestly never come up in our relationship for the reason that it's the past. I don't care to know and I'm sure he doesn't either or knowing him he would of asked so long ago. I honestly don't get curious either.

Answer

I agree that you should know how many people came before you just for sexual health (not to sound rude but sorry if your number is over 10, in not sleeping with you so I kinda need to know) 
But I think it's kinda stupid to demand names? It's on the past, leave it there. If the person gets brought up, then so be it. You can explain then. I have nooo idea who my partner dated. One was named Jess. That's all I know. He doesn't know any of my exes either. I think it would cause more jealousy and more issues if he tells you every name.

Answer

Not sure how many my bf been with and he doesn't know mine either!!

Answer

My husband knows how many I've been with. My husband also has met them in passing.

However, my husband has been with so many he can't even remotely name/remember/count anymore, so he hasn't told me. He's told me ABOUT a few. And he's even pointed out a couple that I've met as well. But I don't feel like he needs to recount every one. That's the past, and unless he feels the need to divulge it, it can stay there.

Answer

I know a round about number but don't know the names.. I doubt my SO even knows all the names... He was a but of a hoe

Answer

I honestly don't care who he's been with in the past. It doesn't make any difference in our lives. I've never asked him and he's never asked me. It truly doesn't matter.

Answer

I think if you need to know, fine....But if you bring it up as ammunition at any time, especially in an argument, you're a big jerk. And if it's too much for you to handle, and you still continue a relationship with the person knowing it's going to cause an issue in the future, you are again, a big fat jerk. Ask, process the information, and then let it go!

Answer

Mt fiance was a 21 year old virgin, i mean he had experiences with his ex like touching and i believe he said a bj. As for me I've had multiple partners and i expressed that to him.

It's all a matter of who you are and how you would feel. At first i didn't want him to know because i honestly thought it would scare him off and he did take it hard when i first told him. His shock was completely noticeable.

Sometimes it's okay to not know. I don't believe it's really a respect issue because it happened before him and i know i have the utmost respect for him.
Maybe your hubs just doesn't want to stir up what's now the past i know i didn't but i understood the need to know. Just don't put pressure on the subject, if he wants to open up he will.

Goodluck!

Does your partner know?!

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