Spankings?

Question

I realize that we still have quite a while until this may happen but I am still so mad. My mother in law is going to be watching our son after I go back to work. My husband came home yesterday & said that when his mom watches our son that she has no problem spanking him if he is bad. Both my husband & I had spankings when we were younger but I that is not how I want to raise my child. I am not sure how my husband feels about the situation but I absolutely do not like the thought of spanking my child & I definitely do not like the thought of anyone other than my husband or I doing it. Maybe I am being crazy but it is not my MIL's place to punish my child in that way. How should I go about talking to her about this? I'm afraid she is the kind of parent that will not listen to our rules & do what she wants behind our backs.

Answer

I have told my family and will be telling my in laws that if they spank my child then they will not be allowed to see him.
I am very against hands on punishment as there are so many other ways to punish/teach a child (to each their own, it is just not for me).
My mom keeps saying I'll feel differently when the time comes, but I don't think so since I've had the same stance since I can remember.
This is your baby! Your child! No one else's. If they don't respect your wishes then you have every right to speak up! 
Wish you the best of luck!

Answer

Absolutely not. I was more than spanked growing up, give a good beating at times and yes I turned out fine. However I would not be happy with anyone spanking my child. A little tap on the wrist if he was about to do something dangerous I may accept but anything else is a no no.
Your child your rules even if she is looking after him. I would talk to your husband first and see how he feels about it. Hopefully you can both come to agreement before talking to the mil.

Answer

Everyone is standing up for spanking instead of answering the question directly lol anytime someone watches your child they need to respect how you raise them so that it is consistent in their life. There's hundreds of ways to go about discipline without spanking. Just talk to her about how you feel!

Answer

Ultimately whoever is watching your child needs to respect you and your way of discipline... Whether you spank or not all that matters for them is what you give permission for them to do.

Answer

Since it's your kid you should be able to choose how they are disciplined. Talk to her about it, if she won't respect your wishes with your child's care, you might want to consider taking them elsewhere to avoid issues. I was spanked growing up, my fiancé wasn't, and his parents will be watching our son during the day. If I thought she would spank him at all, I wouldn't let her watch my children.

Answer

Set some ground rules, let her know ahead of time how you feel about spanking children... Maybe come up with other ways she may discipline him if she doesn't know how.

Answer

Let her know your expectations from her, just like you would any other sitter. She has to have something she can use (time outs, taking toys away, etc) when the child is in her care, because if you don't let her discipline in some way, then your child will think their actions are okay and continue them. If you wait to discipline til you get home, it's counter productive because at a young age, they won't remember what they did wrong earlier in the day and it won't correct the behavior.

Answer

I think if you are leaving her in charge and she is not your employee she is the one in charge of disiplin.

As long as she is not beating him. If you don't want her to look after him and disipline him her way then you need to get a nanny.

Answer

Although I do believe in appropriate spanking..it is your child so you should have that discussion with her prior to watching your child

Answer

She spanked your husband...e turned out good enough for you to spend your life with...so sounds like she's not abusive. So I don't see the problem if he's being bad he's being bad and as we all know timeout doesn't always work and our childern do act out more and differently when we ourselves are not the ones watching them. I see no problems with spankings in reason.

Spankings?

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