For the love of all that is holy (tmi)

I'm 18 weeks, and I'm about to lose it.

A- my asshole now feels like it is on fire, like satan is poking me with a hot iron prod, and I don't want to eat because I feel full, and I can't poop, and I'm going to cry. 

 I've consulted my doctor over the last week (it's been about a week since I've gone and even then it's just- not normal- think pebbles. I honestly feel like there could be diamonds in my stool with how hard they come out. I am a walking golden goose I swear)

Things I have tried: miralax, colace, hot bath, prune juice, prunes, dates, milk of mag, suppositories, drinking a lake full of water every day, and I did an enema today after asking doc if it's ok and hardly anything came out. He said he does not want me taking mineral oil or a laxative as it can have a negative effect on baby. The miralax was even iffy but he said the powdered shit with water was ok as long as I drank a lot of water. 

He advised I go to er if I don't go within the next few hours I just want to avoid the hospital for constipation if I can. 

Seriously help. I have never wanted to empty my bowels so bad in my life. And what the fudge is the ER going to do?

I just want to poop so I can enjoy a taco.

***********

 

Update: nothing yet. Making my husband go get some prep H as I now have a hemorrhoid and feels as though my hole is a fire ant training camp, along with flax milk (no idea but getting it), sugar free candy stuff, apple cider vinegar, fruit things, and I'm giving it a couple more hours, then heading in. Good note- baby is moving a ton. But this has been my viewing area basically until my legs went numb then I took a nap because I couldn't take it anymore. 

Update 2- going to ER. FML