Feeling lost and frustrated.

Okay, I'm really trying not to be discouraged over here.... but my husband and I have been trying for 20 months and we had our first cycle of Clomid this month following one miscarriage. I am a nicu nurse and it is so hard working there sometimes with babies in your face 24/7. Has anyone has good experience with clomid within the first few cycles??? Also, who has been getting ultrasounds while on clomid and who hasn't? My ob did not do ultrasounds this round, and I've been contemplating switching to a fertility specialist and thinking maybe they will have more of an interest? I just feel lost lately. I know I was too hopeful that it would work right away, but we just want a baby so bad, and I know you guys know how that feels.... to want something so bad, from the depths of your heart.... every month I have a period I just feel like my heart breaks. I am a believer in God, so I'm trying to trust in His plan and be patient and trust in Him... I'm just really starting to find myself struggling with anger lately... just thought I'd put this out there. I don't post much, but this has just been difficult for me. My husband is extremely supportive, but ya know how it is.. sometimes guys just don't totally get it..