I did it.

After TTC for two years (almost 3) I called an adoption agency to find out information about becoming adoptive parents. I haven't talked to my husband about it yet since he is at work right now BUT we have talked about adopting in the past. And he agrees with adopting a child in the future to try and give another child a loving home where they can feel wanted. Problem is they have age restrictions and while I am well within those restrictions my husband... Well he is getting closer to the cut off age. He isn't old or anything like that but every state has restrictions and such.

The reason why I called... I have severe cramps to the point where if I am not on top of things I become physically ill from the pain. I was put on the pill when I was in middle school to help with my cramps. I did get pregnant once by an ex who forced an abortion on me and lied to the doctors so they would go through with it. Since then I have not been able to get pregnant and if I do happen to get pregnant I have miscarry every time. I am just so tired of trying and never having anything work out. I'm tired of the pain I go through every month just to deal with it the next month and the month after that. I just needed to vent a little. I have nobody here other than my husband. My dad lives over a thousand miles away, and to be honest I don't know if he would understand, and my step mom. Well I don't know how she would react either. And I know my biological mother's family would think I'm stupid for wanting to adopt because of their views plus they don't like me at all. So I am at a loss as to what to do. I just want to curl up and cry it all out.