What to do.

Question

Hey ladies. 
Im a first time mom due im September. Im planning on having my bf & mom in the room when i deliver. 
If everything goes smoothly and i dnt need a CS (C-SECTION). I would like to have a hr alone before being mobbed at the hosp being i get overwhelmed very easily.. i know for a fact my bfs mom and sister are going to have a issue with it. His mom told me oh as soon as ur admitted im coming up its like why?? My own mother isnt even coming up until im 6-7 cm
 Cause this is my first baby and 98% of the time u go slow. I know if i say oh we only want us for the first hr or whoevers at the hospital but once we know whos their we dnt want anyone else until a hr after we have time with him. I know his sisters gonna be like yu just dnt want us to see him only ur family and his moms gonna be like thats bullshit ill see him when i want and etc. Its just like his family can NEVER make anything easy. Idc tho whoevers at the hosp is still gonna wait a hr it's just i can see a fight happening :( :( :( shes already told me that shes gonna do what she wants with my son
She isnt following my rules 
And its not that i care that she waits in the waiting room its just i know she's gonna be all mad when we say we want a hr alone
Advice?

Answer

Instead of you telling them, tell your nurse when you first get admitted what your plans are. She will tell them and you won't feel so bad.

Answer

I completely understand where you're coming from. Luckily for me, my mother in law lives a couple hours away and would never ask to be in at the time anyway. It's different when it's your own mom. You and your mom have a different bond that you would never have with his mom. It's not out of hand to request that. And the fact she can't understand where you're coming from is rediculous in my opinion. I would straight out tell her ahead of time (as soon as possible) that unless she gets her attitude straight and understand that you are mom and you are in charge 100% over this little man and unless she complies with your rules, that she will not be aloud to spend alone time with him until she gets on the same wave length. My own mom will not let my girls do anything that she knows I would not let them do and she keeps in mind my rules I have set for them when she keeps them. It makes it much easier for babies and kids growing up with that kind of consistency.

Answer

I had a whole waiting room waiting for me to deliver. Its no big deal. Just have someone let them know when you are ready for them to come in.

Answer

I'm a FTM too and the best you can do is be honest about it and let it be known.
I plan to just have my fiance in there and once he's born it just be us 2 until I feel comfortable letting others in.
His mom is pushy and might get upset but it's something they have to get over as it's not their child but yours!

Answer

Tell them they need to get over it. You are the one having a baby. Not them. I think they can wait one hour. They've been waiting 9 months just like you! It's not like your asking for days or weeks its just an hour.

Answer

How is she going to know the baby is born? After the baby is born, take your hour and then have your husband go out and get her.

Answer

It is going to be your bf's mom's grandchild. Of course she wants to be there. What's wrong with her waiting in the waiting room? I don't really understand why you're so stressed about her even being there.

Answer

I feel like I am dealing with the same issues, except I live with my boyfriends mom. She never talked to me, but now all of a sudden she wants to talk to me about the baby and everything about the baby. Well, I've been thinking about who I want in the delivery room and I don't know if there is going to be many happy people. I don't think I want my own mom in there with me.

Answer

If you want time alone with just you and your little one, please do so. Tell the nurses that you want absolutely no visitors other than your boyfriend and mom until you say otherwise and they will help you.

Your boyfriend's family can hang out in the waiting room until you're ready. If they get mad, they can just stay in the waiting room until they calm down. You are the one who is going to be in labor and showing everything to the world, so it's your decision who is in the room. My mother-in-law would NEVER ask to be in the room during delivery and if she did, I would politely tell her no. That's awkward.

A lot of people were angry with us because we had no visitors but my parents when our child was born for the first day. I had a csection and our little guy had a hard time getting going and we wanted private bonding time. My husband went to the waiting room and got our parents when I was ready, but a lot of friends and my brother were angry at us because they weren't invited in right away.

It amazes me how many people think it's their right to just barge in or to demand how you, the mother, should give birth. Many hospitals are now advocating for private bonding time with just baby and parents. The baby will still be there in an hour, when everything is calmed down and you've had time to cuddle and feed your little one without an audience.

If talking it over and explaining politely, but firmly, doesn't work, the hospital will intervene for you if you ask them. I understand trying to keep the peace but it's your privacy and your child. Your boyfriend will hopefully stand up for you and be understanding and supportive.

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