You guys .. I've officially gone crazy!

So .. Everyone was running very behind at my doctors appt. this morning and therefor I didn't get checked for dilation. 
I'm so tempted to google how to do this shit myself, or have my husband try. 😂
 I told myself that I didn't want to be obsessed over this, but I'm starting to remind myself of how I was almost 9 months ago when I was constantly thinking about a positive pregnancy test