Police Officer, new mom. Sad POV

I am a new mother. I am a person of color. I am a police officer. Do you want to hear something sad? This could be postpartum talking, but I've been holding my newborn the past few weeks and telling my newborn that mommy is scared to go back to work. I've been telling my newborn that they might not have a mommy much longer when she does because she might get killed for whatever reason because some cops can't do their job right. Just light real talk to prepare myself. The reality is hitting much closer to home after watching the news tonight. I don't want to quit because I love working in my community. It's a tough decision. There is a lot of evil in the world.