Gender War

I am a little over 15 weeks pregnant; and my Dr scheduled my gender reveal for around the time I'll be about 19 weeks along. My hubby is in jail and won't be able to be home in time for the gender scan. (My husband is not a terrible man; he made a mistake and he is paying for his crime. NO ONE IS PERFECT) He will be home around week 23 of my pregnancy. I told my in laws about the gender scan and they said it's selfish to get a scan done without him. I told them I was going to have the ultrasound tech write down on a piece of paper the gender fold it up, and stick it in an envelope and reveal it at out video chat I have set up. They said it's not the same and that I should wait for him to get out to reveal the gender that way he's more involved. But I need to know the gender so I can get rid of some of the baby stuff I have. I have been given both boy and girl everything. And I don't have room to keep both. Should I wait until he can be there; am I selfish?