HELP ME!! CUP PROBLEMS!!

Ok so I bought a cup about 4 months ago and of course I wanted to try it right away. I spent 20 minutes just trying to get the damn thing in. I tried tons of different folds and techniques, I relaxed muscles, I tightened muscles, I changed position and my angle. Everything didn't work. So I gave up. I tried once more with no evail, even though I was absolutely determined that it was going to work. So yet again, it got set in my period stash replaced by tampons (disgusting, smelly, dangerous tampons) because I refuse to go back to pads except at night. I hear they are just as bad for you anyways so whatever. So anyways, yesterday I bought soft cups for the first time but guess what? MY FREAKING VAGINA IS TOO FAT BECAUSE THAT SH*T WON'T STAY BEHIND MY PELVIC BONE. I fished around in there to see what the problem it and my muscles push it down and it starts sliding out. So I went on YouTube, spent an hour doing research on menstrual cups and different folds and tried one I didn't see before. I managed to get it in but I can't fit the cup AND two fingers in there so it pops open way too early and hurts like a bitch. And of course pulling it out feels like I'm birthing a grapefruit. So I stuck my thumb in there with it to break the seal because the rest of my fingers were busy holding on to the cup (and probably whatever was left of my sanity). This of course hurt like hell and I ended up just pulling the whole thing out. When I did, there was a small amount of blood on my thumb so I freaked and immediately stopped all efforts of liberation. I'm not sexually active so I think my vaginal canal is not "primed" for such abuse. If anyone has any advice on what I can do to make it work (the menstrual cup or the soft cups) I would really be grateful.