A letter to my husband.

My love, I'm having one of those days. One of those days that I find myself doing the fourth load of laundry in 24 hours because our daughter has once again pooped through not only her outfit but our blankets & bedsheets as well. The kind of day that has me making myself a coffee & finding it 5 hours later sitting on the counter untouched. I'm having the kind of day that has me with bags under my eyes, my hair knotted in a bun atop my head, in nothing but a tee & socks, catching up on texts only as I sit in those peaceful moments between breastfeeding & the next poop explosion or spit up fiasco. Today is the day that has me walking into rooms but forgetting what I had gone there for, making silly mistakes like leaving the faucet of the kitchen sink on while filling last nights empty pots with soap & water so I can scrape off all the hard food when I have a moment to do the dishes in the near future. I'm having one of those days & that might mean that tonight we'll be having leftovers for supper...and that doesn't mean the chicken nuggets from Sunday because I ate them cold in between rocking the baby to sleep & calling around to find babysitters to watch her while we attend your cousins wedding next weekend. My nipples are sore, our bedsheets don't match & because I've ran out of spit-up cloths, I've pulled out one of your old t-shirts to use instead. The rockers batteries have died & ive been using my foot to rock her back and fourth & I must've fallen asleep at least twice while doing so. I'm sorry that I'm not dressed for you when you arrive home from a long day of work. It's not the fake "I'm trying to be a hero even though I know Momhood is rough" kind of apology. I'm authentically sorry for turning into this 22 year old old woman that couldn't just slap on the slightest bit of make up or at least find matching pajamas to grace you with. I wish I could've thrown a fresh dinner together ... Maybe even Frank's with eggs? I don't care and I know you don't either. But I want to do it all for you.. But right now it's all about our little girl. About making it through every day & catching her little grins & giggles & not crying too hard as I pack away her newborn clothing. This hustle and bustle.. This is all good stuff...it's all I've ever wanted but I still need to cry on your shoulder for a minute or two when you arrive home from work. So thanks for sticking by on this hormonal adventure & even more I thank you for being able to laugh with me at the ridiculousness of it all. ❤️