3 days PP!
2 things in one: 1) So I went in Monday at 4am for pitocin induction. However it didn't really work all that great so finally at 5pm they quit the pitocin and we stayed at the hospital that night to try again 4am Tuesday morning. Started the pitocin and was having small contractions, but nothing that I could really feel and they weren't very consistent either. Finally, at 10:15 Tuesday morning my doctor broke my water. Contractions immediately picked up and were very intense. Around 4:15pm I finally requested an epidural and was receiving that around 4:30 or so. Doctor checked me around 8:15pm and I was dilated to a 9 and he said we would start pushing in 30 mins. He took a little longer than 30 mins to return and I started pushing at 9:05pm. Baby boy arrived at 9:41 pm!
2) First of all, I love my son very very very much! But I feel really overwhelmed. My SO is great, but he has never had ANY experience with kids and especially with infants! I'm exhausted and haven't slept but for like 3 hours! Literally!!! I trust my SO! I really do, but I don't feel like he can do the job quite like I can. Not saying that I'm the best! Not saying that at all bc I'm not and I know that! I just feel like if the baby cries and is screaming I need to be the one to take care of him! It's like I'm scared and I just want him tone happy and content and my SO is taking too long to make him happy. It's easier if I just do it. So I've been up doing EVERYTHING and I'm just tired! I don't feel comfortable with anyone watching the baby. Plus I got his circumcised and that freaks me out a bit so I don't want anyone to change his diaper! So it's hard for me to go to sleep and let SO take care of him bc I'm s seed he might not change his diaper right and hurt his pee-pee on accident. I just don't know what to do and im not trying to be grumpy...I just don't even know how to explain it.
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